Life is made of so many moments in which we can choose to take control, take responsibility and look to make things happen under our rules. I don’t think I will surprise you to suggest that we come across the complete opposite more than we come across the former. It seems that people find it difficult, whether that be a conscious decision or not to take responsibility for what goes on in their life. It is somewhat of an illogical stance given that it is you, and you only that controls you and your behaviour.
How often have you heard or even say, if they are going to do that then I will do this? We all have core values yet we seem to allow them to be swayed by the actions of others. The idea of staying true to yourself does have a tinge of hippy-dippyness about it. However I believe you will never find happiness and fulfilment until you really do embrace who you are and live that way irrelevant of how others are around you. The only way to live like this is to take responsibility for your actions. How can you expect someone else to take responsibility for the things you do and say. If nothing else everyone is making their way through this magnificient experience that is life. Sometimes it is glorious, sometimes painful and sometimes just down right difficult. How can you expect anyone else to take responsibility for you, when they have just as much as you to contend with.
This is very well when sat here theorising about how you should behave in the “real world” but in practice it can seem so much more difficult. What can you do to try and change those habits and take control for yourself?
Listen to your thoughts
Now this sounds like an odd thing to say but what I mean by it is list to your internal voice are you blaming others, is it “someone else’s fault?” Learn to recognise when this is happening, maybe always ask yourself if I was responsible for this what could I do? How should I behave? Then go ahead and act on the answers to these questions. The more you do this the more you are taking responsibility.
Listen to how you speak
This is very much about listening for blaming patterns in your speech. Is it someone else’s fault that you get a low wage? Is it your coworkers fault that you are in this mood? Similar to your thoughts try and identify these traits in yourself and think I am responsible for this, what can I do differently? Once you are aware of what you are doing this then gives you the power to change it.
Take in feedback
There is nothing more powerful and useful than a good piece of feedback. If someone is telling you that you are always blaming others or not taking responsibility, listen to them. Fight those defensive urges (we all have them). Explore what they are saying by asking further questions and think of how this new information can help you act differently.
Taking responsibility for everything in your life is not easy, not easy at all. However there are ways you can take more control of what you do in your life, how you act and the outcomes you achieve.
Taking responsibility brings you a freedom that you simply don’t get when it is always “someone else’s fault?”
How hard do you find taking responsibility for your life? How often do you see people blaming others (I am not just talking MP’s)? Let me know your thoughts below.
Now go forth and have an awesome week.