I am sure there are many situations you have experienced in which you could have handled it better to get a greater outcome. I know there are a fair few for me. I have gone head strong into a meeting thinking I want this out of it. On I would march right into the room already in a confrontational mode. I must get this way and I will make it happen. I believed through strength and forcefulness I will get what I want. Well, no surprise that it never worked out they way I hoped.
We live in a society that says if you are strong enough you can bend most people to your will. You can get people to do exactly what you want. Strength is power. Well I am here to challenge that idea. Weakness is truly where influence lies. Being patient, listening and understanding is really where the ability to really affect others lies.
When one exerts power or strength over another it can, potentially, have short term benefits. You basically get your own way. However, in the long term it creates divisions, resentment and even backlash. As a business owner these can be immensely detrimental to the future success of what you are trying to do. Strength is about enforcing your will onto others. However, weakness is patient, curious and open. It creates an environment of safety and a world in which people feel comfortable.
As a leader it is important that you get the best from your team. The most effective way to get the maximum from people is to help them make choices for themselves. This is where creating a world that feels natural to them is so important. If you want them to do certain things or perform in certain ways you need to create atmosphere or world in which they can do it.
If you want to make a change to the business, it is up to you make it feel as if it is almost already part of what you do. You do this by engaging with your team. Ask them questions, show enthusiasm for their ideas and take time to listen. They will talk and express ideas freely. It will look to anyone else that they are in charge of the meeting, giving them a deep sense of control. However, make no bones about it; you are in charge. Through your eye contact, questions and enthusiasm you are really directing things. This will lead to a consensus forming and a built connection on the change and set of plans to move forward.
As leader it is important you can influence your team. However, our traditional understanding of using strength and power to make things happen has drastic long term consequences. Create a natural environment for your team members to contribute and feel valued and you will find that your influence will spread far and wide.